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Spoilers:
"Suspect"
Pairing: Lex and Clark
Established Relationship
Lex finally raised his gaze back to Clark, finding that he once more had
his face buried in the book he held. The distance was still there between
them and Lex could not understand what it stemmed from. He had said his
peace, had wanted Clark to clear the air as well but instead, he hadn't
even acknowledged whether or not they were still 'okay', whether or not
there was still anything between them.
The past few days had been beyond difficult. It had begun with the trouble
in Metropolis - Lex's desire to beat his father at his own game had
seriously backfired. Lex had worried that their relationship wouldn't make
it past this and now, with Clark's continued silence, that concern grew.
They'd had little chance to discuss what had happened when word reached
him that Jonathon Kent had shot his father. Admittedly, they had said
things to one another that couldn't be taken back. No matter how much each
of them chose to ignore it, those words and what had happened would never
go away. The truth was, Lex had forgiven him the moment Clark had walked
in and accused him of both shooting his own father and then framing his
lover's father for the crime. It had hurt - those words had hurt beyond
measure - and Lex had reacted the only way he knew how. By lashing out
himself.
Clark was still a child in many ways and Lex was always reminding himself
of that. How could he have expected a sixteen year old to react any
differently as Clark had? Especially as overly emotional as Clark was.
Hell, Lex knew all about how difficult it was to control emotions, no
matter that he had been lectured on exactly that all of his life. He
couldn't fault Clark for having those same issues.
And so he had forgiven him, which was the only thing he could do.
Yet the words still hung there; the accusations, the mistrust. The pain.
All Lex wanted to do was reach out and hold Clark, hear the reassuring
words that everything was all right between them, that they would make it
past this. Unfortunately, the gap between them seemed all too wide. For
the first time ever, Clark seemed a million miles away from Lex and he was
afraid that if he reached out, this time there would be no one there to
pull him in.
"Clark?" He said softly, taking one last chance to make it right.
Hazel eyes looked up to meet him before quickly glancing to the floor as
if afraid to meet his gaze. "Yeah?"
Lex sighed and stood up, moving to stand in front of Clark, who still
refused to look at him. "Clark, what is it? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just... I have schoolwork to get caught up on."
Not accepting the excuse, Lex reached out and cupped Clark's chin, raising
his head until their gazes locked. "We've come too far, Clark, been
through too much to let this destroy us."
Clark moved his eyes away but not quickly enough; not quickly enough for
Lex not to notice the pain there, the unshed tears. Crouching down, Lex
moved his hand to brush the bangs from Clark's eyes, his fingers lingering
through the soft, dark curls for a moment. Clark closed his eyes, leaned
into the touch, seeking more, almost desperate for the contact.
"Talk to me, angel," Lex whispered. "You have to talk to me or I can't
make it better."
Clark dashed at a tear with the back of his hand. "I hurt you," he
whispered. "Those things I said... I didn't mean them." He finally turned
his gaze back to Lex, searching the silver orbs that he so often lost
himself in. "Lex, I didn't mean to hurt you."
Lex offered a small smile. "We both said things we didn't mean, Clark."
"No!" Clark stood suddenly and walked away to the other side of the loft.
He stopped, standing silently for a long moment, before finally turning
back around. "I... I should have known better. How can I accuse the person
I love of attempting to kill his own father?"
"Maybe because I have admitted to considering it in the past," Lex
offered, rising from his position while he watched his lover come to terms
with what had happened.
"But you *didn't* do it," Clark argued. "And I should have considered
that. Instead, I accuse you of trying to frame the very man whose life you
*saved*!"
"Clark -- "
"And then, when you tried to talk some sense in to me, I went on to accuse
you of trying to harm me and Pete. Me!" Clark's voice was becoming
panicked, irrational. He ran a hand through his hair, dashed at more
tears. "I never even gave you the benefit of the doubt!"
"Clark," Lex said a little more sharply, catching the boy's attention as
he crossed the loft to join him. "Your father was in jail for murder. You
were frightened, confused. You know enough of my past to -- "
"To know that you *love* me and my family," Clark interrupted.
Lex grew silent, looked away, unable to think of anything to say to that.
"See?" Clark asked miserably, the tears falling down his cheeks unchecked.
"What kind of person does that make me?"
Lex turned back to the beautiful, weeping boy before him and smiled
gently. "The kind of person who lets nothing stand in the way of the good
of their family."
Reaching for Clark just as he broke down into sobs, Lex pulled him close
in a soothing embrace, kissing the dark head that laid against his
shoulder. Backing over to the couch while continuing to hold Clark, he sat
down, bringing his lover with him, and leaning back so that Clark could
lay against his chest. Brushing his fingers through Clark's hair with one
hand, the other caressed his back and shoulders until the body against him
ceased its shudders and the sobs quieted. They lay there in silence for a
long while, only the sounds of the cattle in the distance and the
occasional barn cat, interrupting their peace.
Finally, Clark craned his head back to look at Lex and whispered, "Forgive
me, Lex."
"You know I do, Clark. I have."
"No. I *need* to hear you say it."
Lex leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I forgive you, angel."
Clark's eyes closed for a moment and a sigh, sounding very much like the
weight of the world had just been lifted from his shoulders, escaped him.
More silence ensued before Clark lifted himself up on his elbows and
reached up for a kiss. Slow, gentle, a little hesitant as if forgiveness
were still being requested, the kiss continued as an absolution, each
seeking the acceptance of the other. Lex's arms moved around Clark as the
boy shifted against him, covering his body completely in warmth and
safety. Cupping Lex's face with his hands, Clark pulled his mouth away,
worshipping instead with tiny kisses over cheeks and eyelids and brow and
nose and back to mouth, communicating his love silently.
Smiling a little at the devotion being gifted to him, Lex couldn't help
but ask again, "So, are we okay?"
Clark lifted his head, smiling down at Lex, his eyes dancing in the
darkness. "Oh, yeah. We're okay, Lex. We're okay." |